Southern Appalachian Social Life

The Valentines moved into the Cocke County area of the Smoky Mountains about 200 years ago.  Specifically, they moved into the Cosby/Jones Cove area.  Durin' the 1930s, my mother's father took a job as a field foreman on a nursery which was located at Reagan's Station-about 100 miles away.  He moved his family there when mom was a teenager.

Shortly after I was born, Mom moved to Knoxville and that's where I went to school.  I have only lived full time in this area since I married Dorey on December 18, 1983.  Durin' that time I have learned quite a bit more about these mountain folks.

For example, very few of them seem to have the word 'afternoon' in their spoken language.  Instead they use "evenin' "fur anytime between noon and midnight.  Which can cause considerable dadblame confusion especially when they are communicatin' with folks that do use 'atternoon.'  I highly recommend that you pin them down to a specific time of the evenin'. 

If they see a dove, they call it a dove.  But if they just hear a dove in the woods, but don't see him, they call it a 'Rain Crow.'  What the hell, "coo coo coo" has to do with rain is one of them thangs I ain't figured out yet.  Mama Ponder still swears there is a difference tho she reckons as how she ain't never in her born days actually seen a rain dove, but according to local folklore,  rain crows will bring rain.

There is very little social life in these mountain communities as most big city folk think of such.  Attendin' church and funeral services are the two most frequent social functions I can think of off hand.  I have always limited my funeral attendance to payin' my respects only to a deceased person that I knew personally and respected and that's what I still do.  But that's not quite how everyone else around here does it.  If they knew someone who knew someone who knew a relative of the deceased, participation is mandatory.  That there means Mama Ponder and Dorey make just about every dadburn funeral in our section of the county.  First they cook up several dishes of food and deliver them to the next of kin, usually spouse or parents, or at whoever's house where all the grievin' kinfolk are gatherin'.  I mean they don't just prepare any ole dish of food either.  No sirree Bob, not my Dorey and Mama Ponder.  They will prepare dishes we only eat at home maybe once a year.  It is not unusual to see the next of kin's kitchen so full of food yummies are ah sittin' in the floor.  Then they dress up in their Sunday-go-to-meetin' finest and go to the funeral home where the next of kin is receivin' friends.  Then they attend the funeral services and at the funeral home and some also attend the grave side services.  They will spend hours chatin' with others attendin' the services.

The entire community comes together fur a traumatic illness or injury or a tragic loss of property-say due to fire or an accident.  They usually hold an auction in the local grammar school gym with the proceeds going to the family in need.  This is another big social event and it always includes biddin' on various women's baked yummies.  If you love your wife's cakes or pies and you want to take it home with you from that auction, you best bring your check book and a big heart plumb full of the 'givin' spirit' because you will need both.

They do the same thang every year fur their church and when they need some extra funds.  They call the annual sale, "The Lord's Acre Sale." The church members sneak up here to Mama and Dorey and make a deal a week before the auction to buy all of the apple butter they fix right then and there before they even take it to the auction.  Apparently, this is not considered a sin even though the apple butter would have brought more money at the auction.

It's true that funeral and church services account fur most of the rural mountain social life and the auctions help take up the slack, but there's also one other very important event which accounts fur most of the remainin' social life and that is shoppin'.  If you are a member of the middle or upper hillbilly class, it is imperative that you wear your best go-to-meetin' clothes when you go shoppin'¾even if you're only goin' to the county seat, population 12,000, to get groceries at Food City or Ingles.  Thou shall not do as Old Val does and shuffle on downtown wearin' whatever you happen to have on at the time.  Heaven forbid!  A shower and change into fresh clothes [which must pass muster] is the only way to avoid a severe chastisin', unless of course you slip out while Mama Ponder is napin'.  Preparein' to go shopin' is as important as preparein' to attend church or funeral services.

Except fur them services I already told you about, family reunions and doctor and dentist appointments is about the only time Mama Ponder leaves this property.  So shoppin' is somethin' to be taken very seriously and proper preparation is required.  And everyone knows that it takes quite a while to get ready to go shoppin' because it takes both Mama and Dorey to beg, threaten, and cajole Ole Val until he finally meets with their complete approval¾well almost anyway.  And usually he just barely meets their minimum standards which include a shower, shave, clean pressed clothes, clean shoes, and fresh underwear¾in case of a car wreck [as if anyone would know the condition of my underwear prior to said disaster].  Now, if there was just some way to replace that damn frown on his ugly face with a smile to help win over the butcher...

Ever now and agin back in these hills, you'll meet up with an old person of Scotch-Irish decent that still speaks basically old English and you have to listen real careful-like if you want to understand them and you will too because you do want to understand them.  To me, hearin' them talk is like listenin' to music and I enjoy hearin' them talk even if they're just discussin' ever day thangs.  Not many of them folks left around here nowadays.

Oh by the way, askin' fer directions from some of these people is the best way to get lost I can think of.  I can not recommend it.  You might get lucky and get one that has spent some time in the military and knows how to give accurate clear directions, but most likely you won't and you will be more confused than you were before you asked.  The real problem is you just might not know you’re confused.

Don "Brer Bear" Valentine

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